we have officially lost it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
