I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
