You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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