There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
