...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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