How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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