Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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