a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
