TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
