I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
