There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
