i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
