Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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