today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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