Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
