he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
