who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
