Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
