white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
