We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
