waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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