Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
