Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
