i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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