Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
