So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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