this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
