She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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