i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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