How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
