But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
