i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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