so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
