and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's like iHOP with fire
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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