Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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