My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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