every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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