I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
