Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
