oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
