All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
They are going to name an STD after you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
