It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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