Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
