Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
