Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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