As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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