I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
