just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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