We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
