I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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