worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
