I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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